If you dislike it, I can refrain from calling you that.
[Not quite a brush-off, but also not quite what Avicebron meant by the warning.]
He wasn't. But neither he or I perfectly match the 'real' Atsushi.
Spirits like us are influenced by what people thought of us and our stories - like you and your mistranslated name - and my/our stories, especially our most well-known short story, had themes of dualism and conflict in identities. So it isn't surprising.
It could have been worse, really. The children's literature authors were summoned as actual children.
[ That's not -- ... ugh, he'll deal with it later. He honestly can't focus on that when there's a much more intriguing subject on hand.
It really is quite fascinating how these library spirits seem so similar to Heroic Spirits in many ways, but different in others. ]
I see. Public perception is equally important for a Heroic Spirit's identity. There are those whose identities have been warped by poor reputations or gossip.
It must be a troublesome condition to deal with. You speak of it with surprising candor.
Honestly, I've spent a long time deeply troubled by it. Worried over if I'm the real 'me', if he's the real 'me', if either of us even remember our life the same way... We can't communicate directly, and even now that we're exchanging notes, I don't know him all that well.
I can't say that I'm at peace with it. But I know he doesn't mean me harm, at least.
...he says 'hurt him and I'll kill you', by the way.
[ Though Atsushi's other personality is probably in the right to be wary. It's a droll thought that he shoves to the back of his mind. ]
Some Heroic Spirits can be summoned in different forms depending on the summoner, the location, and other factors. But no one form is more 'real' than another. They are simply different manifestations of the same legends and rumors.
In that regard, I would think both of your personalities are 'real' by virtue of existing. As long as both of your personalities are virtuous and of worth, 'realness' seems unimportant. You've little to worry about.
[ The world's most indirect way of trying to be reassuring. ]
[Despite its indirectness, it works. Maybe even more than direct reassurance would have.]
Thank you. Yet again, I'm grateful for your support.
I'm saving up to buy an orb for one of my short story collections, but unfortunately, I don't have a cute owl to deliver it to wherever you are in the city. Should I mail it, or would you prefer to collect it in person?
Yes, though it would only be able to follow simple commands without further use of magic to guide its actions. And it does not feel sensation. So it wouldn't be able to respond to petting.
[ Though he doesn't really get why you'd want to pet a golem in the first place ... ? Anyway, he won't push the issue. ]
I created it while testing the compatibility of different materials with my golemancy. If you aren't interested, I won't press it upon you.
No, no, I'm sure you have better things to do with your time. Well, maybe it could be useful to develop for people with fur allergies who can't have animal pets?
But even if it was the best golem in the world, it wouldn't be the same as seeing you.
But it's not a failing to prefer being alone sometimes. I'm not the most social person myself... Other people can be tiring, but I do end up lonely if I avoid them too much. It's hard to strike a balance.
But for myself, I failed to strike that balance. It's something I'm attempting to amend. So don't concern yourself with my comfort. I'm grateful for your patience.
avi is at lv 69 rn. I just thought you should know that.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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But there was no need to tell me if you would have preferred to keep it a secret.
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...and even if that hadn't happened, it's not a terrible thing if my friends know.
[Unstated, because it's obvious and doesn't need to be said: they're friends.]
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Though you'll probably dismiss it, I must still make something clear: I am not the type of person you should be so quick to declare a friend.
[ But since he gets the sense Atsushi's just going to brush off that warning, he won't dwell on it, either. Not at the moment, at least. ]
Was the split personality something you had in life?
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[Not quite a brush-off, but also not quite what Avicebron meant by the warning.]
He wasn't. But neither he or I perfectly match the 'real' Atsushi.
Spirits like us are influenced by what people thought of us and our stories - like you and your mistranslated name - and my/our stories, especially our most well-known short story, had themes of dualism and conflict in identities. So it isn't surprising.
It could have been worse, really. The children's literature authors were summoned as actual children.
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It really is quite fascinating how these library spirits seem so similar to Heroic Spirits in many ways, but different in others. ]
I see. Public perception is equally important for a Heroic Spirit's identity. There are those whose identities have been warped by poor reputations or gossip.
It must be a troublesome condition to deal with. You speak of it with surprising candor.
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I can't say that I'm at peace with it. But I know he doesn't mean me harm, at least.
...he says 'hurt him and I'll kill you', by the way.
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[ Though Atsushi's other personality is probably in the right to be wary. It's a droll thought that he shoves to the back of his mind. ]
Some Heroic Spirits can be summoned in different forms depending on the summoner, the location, and other factors. But no one form is more 'real' than another. They are simply different manifestations of the same legends and rumors.
In that regard, I would think both of your personalities are 'real' by virtue of existing. As long as both of your personalities are virtuous and of worth, 'realness' seems unimportant. You've little to worry about.
[ The world's most indirect way of trying to be reassuring. ]
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Thank you. Yet again, I'm grateful for your support.
I'm saving up to buy an orb for one of my short story collections, but unfortunately, I don't have a cute owl to deliver it to wherever you are in the city. Should I mail it, or would you prefer to collect it in person?
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I can collect it in person. Thank you.
[ A pause before something occurs to him and he sends a second message, an addendum. ]
Or I can give you control of the owl golem if you'd like. For as long as it lasts.
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All I would do is pet it, I'm sure you have much better uses for it...
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[ Though he doesn't really get why you'd want to pet a golem in the first place ... ? Anyway, he won't push the issue. ]
I created it while testing the compatibility of different materials with my golemancy. If you aren't interested, I won't press it upon you.
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Thank you for the offer. If it doesn't like petting, then I'd rather see you than the golem anyway.
[...not suggesting that he pet Avicebron, unless he's into that?]
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Would you like me to develop a golem that can respond to petting?
[ Because that was obviously the crux of what Atsushi was getting at. ]
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But even if it was the best golem in the world, it wouldn't be the same as seeing you.
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[ Now he's being deliberately obtuse.
Which he feels a little bad about, so an addendum follows after a short moment. ]
I'm poor company. But if you wish for it, I don't mind obliging occasionally.
full ascended avi today...
It would make me incredibly happy. But please, don't let me make you uncomfortable.
CONGRATS please enjoy him in all his gaudy-ass golden glory
I will!!
But it's not a failing to prefer being alone sometimes. I'm not the most social person myself... Other people can be tiring, but I do end up lonely if I avoid them too much. It's hard to strike a balance.
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But for myself, I failed to strike that balance. It's something I'm attempting to amend. So don't concern yourself with my comfort. I'm grateful for your patience.
avi is at lv 69 rn. I just thought you should know that.
[Inner Atsushi is this close to taking over to tell Avicebron they're both idiots and should just make out already.]